Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Do not harden your heart

i felt it quite evidently in me lately, that my heart had grown harder towards a few persons outside church.

Not so much of being unfeeling, but i just did not feel Christ's compassion for these precious souls so intensely anymore. Sometimes it is just so easy to differentiate. We will know it, it's just whether we want to admit it, or continue to avoid God's call.

I knew the reasons - disappointment about them always seemingly taking from me and not giving, rejecting my invitation to church repeatedly. Probably i even let their past misdeeds become a barrier to me (thinking 'You should repent you should repent' instead of extending Jesus' hand of compassion and love to them to strengthen them to return to repent).

In the midst of these, i had been feeling guilty. I kept on crying to the Lord 'Why do i hesitate to give to them now?'. Yes, though i still attended to their needs and gave to them each time they came to me, i told God i did not want to be un-cheerful giver. I still want to give to them fully.

And most importantly, i am in no position to judge anyone.

Thank God for showing me verses 7b-11 in Psalm 95 last night:

If only you would listen to His voice today! 8 The Lord says, “Don’t harden your hearts as Israel did at Meribah, as they did at Massah in the wilderness. 9 For there your ancestors tested and tried My patience, even though they saw everything I did. 10 For forty years I was angry with them, and I said, ‘They are a people whose hearts turn away from Me. They refuse to do what I tell them.’ 11 So in My anger I took an oath: ‘They will never enter My place of rest.’”

Fear of the Lord tells me, even if my heart has been hardened just 1%, i must repent and ask Jesus to soften my heart immediately again!

And that was what i did, and exactly what He did.

i couldn't understand, but i found myself wanting to sob deeply whenever these persons and some others came to my mind. Then i would be sobbing and praying for them with a compassion and love that i knew came from Jesus and not me, feeling the pain of the Heavenly Father as well, who longs so deeply for them to be back to Him and near Him.

If you hear His voice today, do not harden your heart!

If not, you may block Jesus' light like this:

No comments: